holy hour glass figure batman

Let us just take a moment and appreciate women from the 50's. Here we have Vera Ellen, star of many films, amazing dancer with incredible legs, and in later life, a fear of showing her neck (due to some irrational idea that her neck skin was gross or something). Look at that figure. Just look. I could starve myself for years, hit the gym every dang day, and I still wouldn't look like that (not withstanding the small fact that I am currently a redhead and not nearly as pretty as her anyway). Not even with that sweet corset. Though I might invest in one anyway. Nothing wrong with a little help sucking in the grossness. And those legs! Ugh. Meanwhile, here I am in some sweatpants and an old lady bathrobe. Contemplating hitting the gym for hours today. Good gravy am I a fatass or what?

In other news, I'm in a bit of a rut/weird dreams time right now. As usual, I'm dissatisfied with life in general. Mostly  sick of living at home with my parents. Mostly mom. Because she is a colossal bitch sometimes. Like last night, just acting like I am retarded about my own dog. I came home last night and she told me that viv hadn't been out in a while. ok. But she wasn't near the door, or whining to go so I said "I'll take her when she has to go". Then later as the dogs were pestering dad for food, she said it again. And then I said "she is completely mooching right now. she doesn't have to go. If she had to go she would let us know" and instead my jerk mother looks at me like I'm dumb, starts muttering under her breath about how I'm torturing my dog, and how she has to be the only sensible person in the house, and all this other crap, and puts her coat on and has to drag viv out the door, since she wasn't interested in going out at the moment, since all she wanted was some pot roast from my dad. So she drags her out, then when she comes back in glares at me and keeps muttering. So, despite the fact that it was 7:30 at night, I went to bed. I put on my headphones, locked my door, and went to sleep. Because I can't deal with her fucking bullshit. And my only options are go away, or go to sleep. So I just went to sleep. She does this all the time. Acting like I'm some sort of moron, or just a lazy slug who does nothing but mooch off of them. I know I'm lame still living at home and not having a real job and not having my own place and plan, but christ, does she really have to make me feel so worthless? 

Other than that, just plain bored. Work sucks. I don't have friends here. I'm counting down the days till my next Purchase visit so I can be around people who are my friends and get me and don't make me feel so lousy. And stupid blakeley was being jerky this week. I kind of think men suck. And usually, I have friends that are guys and its fine. But he can't even be my friend without wigging out about it and being stupid. He is so paranoid. He really thinks that anyone at work gives a crap about us hanging out. NO ONE CARES! EVERYONE IS TOO WRAPPED UP IN THEIR OWN LIVES TO CARE! But he doesn't get it. It seems like a lot of effort for friends. Maybe I'll just give it up altogether. Whatevs. Had a bunch of weird dreams about people from high school. Maybe because of last week's odd Dubliner experience where everyone was there. And the fact that I see Murph at the gym all the time. Maybe I'm secretly longing for some badass guy to sweep me off my feet and give me some lip-pierced MO session. Who knows.

I think I've rambled enough.