recollections

As the weather has finally decided to catch up with the calender, it is now about 20* outside. Wow. And the cold has me daydreaming and remembering. Like today, when I woke up and my dad said we'd be lucky if it got above freezing, my mind jumped to ice skating. And then I remembered the last time I went ice skating. Last year, ResLife sunday outing. One of the first times I hung out with A. And probably when I first started to fall for him. I remember being so afraid of falling and him trying to push me around or pull me on the ice. He is a great skater. I was a chicken. I remember distinctly putting both hands out to the sides in a "talk-to-the-hand" type of style. (see above) It was just a crazy rush of memory. And it makes my stomach feel weird. I am very conscious of the fact that I mostly live in the past, and thus can not move forward, but sometimes the memories just make me happy, even if it is just for a second before I realize how unhappy I am now. 

In other news, last night went to a workshop on EFT. It is a technique using acupressure points and tapping, along with positive affirmations, to help get rid of the negative things in your life and stress, as well as bring about the things you want. Just doing some tapping at the workshop helped some of my pain go away. Is it because you are so busy focusing on the words and action that you aren't thinking about the pain? Or about the negative emotions and things? Or the fact that you really do tap onto points on your body that are proven to cause neurological reactions, so  by tapping you are tricking your own mind? Who knows. There is a whole meridian system, the same as the one used in acupuncture, and it is again, proven to affect the body and mind. I'm trying this, in conjunction with starting therapy soon, to try and get out of the place I am in. And by that, I mean the place in my head that I'm in. I want to be able to let go. That is the hardest thing. And of course I have to address my anger issues, and I expect that will come in time. But dedication is key. So here I am, taking holistic approaches and hope hope hoping it works. 

Also, at work yesterday, had interesting Sametime (like im) conversations with one of the techs, R. The one with the pretty girly hair. He is actually pretty nice. Weird, random, but nice. Maybe I'll have a friend around here. That would be weird. Since sisterK is rapidly becoming unavailable (due to the new boyfriend-yes-another one) I need to find someone to spend time with that isn't Jorge or Pablo. We'll see how this goes. 

One of the local radio stations is already on the holiday music kick so I've been tuning in to hear my favorites. You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch is the best. (perhaps it is since both Dad and I have been referred to as McGrinchey) And of course whenever I hear Dominic the Donkey, I think of Anthony. Because of his dad. And then more memories. But I digress, the point is, one of my favorite holiday songs I have yet to hear, when will they play Mariah Carey for me? That one I like because it reminds me of S and her play, and it makes me happy. So I keep tuning in, and in the meantime hear random other holiday songs (the hippopotamus song??). I'm ready for holiday time.