nobody knows the troubles I've seen...

getting mad discouraged with the health stuff. If you want to read about that, go to healthysickchick.blogspot.com and see that. basically my liver is a mess, we haven't found the precise cause yet (and thus, can not take real action to repair it- other than removing some things that are known to aggravate livers), and some adjustments have been causing massive pain and depression. Also, being lactose free AND gluten free is taking a toll, since I can't have comfort food. fml. 

Bethey was home this week, really good to spend time with her and see her. And because she was here, sometimes I got to chat with Abster because she was chatting with her.

Kat and Chris are closing on an apt. in Quaker Hill (right by MY vulture flock) that they get the top two floors of this big old house, so that will be nice for them and the pup. The pup, who once again demonstrated that he can not for the life of him watch where he is going when he runs, nearly taking out some strangers at the park today.

Other than that, things are low key. Going to the organic store in OS later to find some lactose free gluten free foods that don't taste like garbage to cheer me up a bit. After a nap though. My body is exhausted. 

Also, a recent hike in my steroids is probably going to give me a giant moon-face, so I'll be not taking photos much, but at easter we always do, so if you see them, try not to be freaked out. I'm going to have to keep going to the gym to try and balance it out, but there is no way to avoid prednisone moon-face. I'm sorry if I start to look like the girl who ate meagan again. 

I'm very proud of A for being a finalist for senior speaker. that is really quite an accomplishment for him. 3 cheers friend.

guts indeed!

So I've been planning to purchase one of Sable's shirts for a while now...but hadn't figured out which one, which one. But now, I think I know. Due to recent drama in the digestive department, I think the guts one is perfect. Plus, that way, I can illustrate to people where my issues are, on the outside, without having to use the interwebs to pull up a pic of the human digestive system. I think I like the gray version best. So, next paycheck (ie next Friday) I will be placing my order.

I spent a good deal of today being sore, and worrying. I went to the new GI dr. Thus far, changes we have implemented include:

-a new heartburn medication

-NO DAIRY

-an upcoming upper endoscopy with celiac-identifying biopsy

-less fats

-lean proteins (supposedly easy to digest)

And of course the same no gluten thing. No dairy is mad hard yo. For several reasons. One, I LOVE creamy things. Two, it is actually in a lot. I had to buy semisweet bakers chocolate to have chocolate sans dairy. That combined with the GF nonsense is making me think I might be losing weight soon, because I'm too lazy to make the effort to find gluten free dairy free food options, so instead I just won't eat at all.

We also did blood work, and found some elevated liver enzymes. Perhaps because of methotrexate. But also perhaps I have hepatitis. So, the GI lady informed the Lupus Lady, and the GI lady is insisting on doing an abdominal ultrasound to check out my livah, and also wants to check for hep. I don't have hepatitis. I know this because I've never had crazy ass orgy sex, I've never shared crazy needles (or even the sane kinds) and there is no possible way I could have gotten hep. There IS autoimmune hepatitis, where your immune system attacks your livah, but that wouldn't be fair. I already have 4 diseases. It wouldn't be right to make it 5. Right? Right?

In other less medical news, EA returns this evening for her springy break, right after the start of SPRING!!!! (that was today. btw) I cleaned the gal's powder room so she wouldn't flip a table at me for the disaster it was. I even bleached. And naturally, got some in my eye. Sometimes I'm special. In a few moments, I will take my puppies up the stairs to sit in my room whilst I clean that, so that she doesn't get mad that the whole day she and Abs spent cleaning the room for my birthday wasn't a complete and total waste. Mostly it is a clothing issue. Not like the bottles and junk last time. Her and Pablo didn't leave the 'dam till like 2ish, so probably not home till late in the evening. Sent my lovely bestest some flowers this week to cheer her, and we are on the docket to chat this weekend...I'm glad.

Random moment of the day: Jackie Rollins texting to ask me if I use an insulin pump, and upon my saying yes, her asking what kind, because she now works at Minimed (yes I use that kind) and is going to be a customer service rep, and wanted to know if I would be a potential caller and how during her training she kept thinking of me. Though it was completely out of left field, it was nice of her to think of me. I don't usually call customer service, but if I do, I'll ask for Dirty Rollins and see what happens ;)

Ok so as of tonight when I get home from work, things on the blog will change. I want to share more about life as a young 20-something with several autoimmune, chronic conditions. I'll include all my crazy dieting and exercise stuff, as well as the regular life stuff that can add to stress (which totally f's with the diseases) but I'll also have links and stuff I've found helpful. I think it is my meager way of giving back, and will help me connect with folks in my sitch. And maybe the occasional TRON post will pop up too.

UPDATE: OK SO I'M KEEPING THIS BLOG THE SAME, AND HAVE A NEW ONE FOR THE HEALTH STUFF: http://healthysickchick.blogspot.com

hummmmm

Let us see.

Friday my father left for his Florida for 10days trip to visit his step-brother and step-sister (who we of course have always been close with and don't really get the step part). That leaves me at home with george for that period of time. He'll return March 8th late in the evening, and then the following Monday, March 16th, she will leave to go out to Utah to see his brother and wife (george is very close with aunt mandy- some sort of bond over marry stupid McG men). I won't mind spending 9 G-free days with dad, but this first thing is a bit rougher. G and I have issues with each other. We may have started out well- Friday we saw The Reader but she was sitting with her friends, and SisterK and I sat together. I basically just drove there with G. (This was Friday, after I had taken viv to the puppy park and met the CUTEST guy named Kit with the MOST ADORABLE coonhound puppy named Lola! that was nice).

Yesterday, We ran errands, having to get to sisterK's place to pick up her laptop and binder for something, then we stopped at Target to get some stuff, then returned here so G and K could have their meeting with the guy who is designing the website for their group. Ch came over and since we weren't invited to the meeting, he and I watched Animal Planet, Weird, True and Freaky. First the one on Swarms, and then one on Humanimals, weird ass people that do crazy animalistic things, or body modification to look like animals. Crazy stuff. After than, took a nap whilst G spoke on the phone to GFred, then we went out to rent movies and get stuff for dinner. We watched The Duchess (good, though sort of sad) and then Burn After Reading, which we didn't find amusing at all. Not.at.all. It is just weird. Anyway, today we're going to try Wall-E and then she has Nights in Rodanthe which I don't want to see. I'm tired of watching old people falling in love movies. I'm not old yet, so I don't see why I ought to find them charming and sweet and nice. I'm young, and not having found love, I don't want to watch it. Darnit.

Other than that, what has life been about? Not a lot. Basically just skipped the gym this week. Mostly because I had the flu last weekend and felt like I didn't want to go. Lent began, so I gave up half&half or cream in my coffee, only allowing myself 1%, or perhaps soymilk in the drink. Thusly, I have been hardcore avoiding coffee because I don't like how it tastes without my thick creamy goodness. I also gave up soda, but since I have digestive issues and can't seem to burp on my own, I have to drink seltzer instead. Right now I have a lot of pomegranate, but I'm looking for black cherry and some other nice flavs. This helps me burp just enough so that I don't explode from internal gas. I know that is gross, but it's the truth. Things at work are much the same, Blakeley still being a tool, though I told him that my dad was gone for a while, maybe we could like, hang out or something. I doubt it. But at least I threw it out there. 

So that is the update. Next weekend is Mike's viola recital, and KHawk's happy hour. I hope more of the fam comes this time. I kind of want to make Sneaky Pete Punch one because I LOVE the name and two I think it would be funny, and evidently you can't taste the alcohol in it, which is why it is called Sneaky Pete Punch, because you're drinking and enjoying it and then all of a sudden, WHAM!!! you get hit (punched even?) with the booze part. Sneaks up on you. Ha. I'll have to ask if anyone would be interested. Gotta love 1950's alcohol recipes.

With that, I'm going to have some of my bailey's ice cream that I never ate last night because I was tired and over full from my macaroni and brussels sprouts. ice cream for breakfast, I know, I make GREAT life choices.

Maybe they're Irish Step Dancing!

For one of the first times ever in the history of life, I drove home from Purchase with no bad feelings. I wasn't sad, I wasn't angry, I was just content (and a bit sleepy). I had a nice visit with no drama. Saw Jami's and Gilbert's senior project performance (amazing and wonderful). Went to dinner with Al, A, and KHawk for some barbeque, then we dropped her off to wait for C at Buffalo Wild Wings (Yea get in the car, we'll just pause and you can jump from the car, tuck and roll Kells) and then I went to the show, then returned to Al's for some relatively quiet conversation, till K and C returned. Then listened to the folks upstairs as they nearly fell through the ceiling. (what do you think they're doing up there to make all that noise? Maybe they're Irish Step Dancing! Wow, Meagan's been waiting her whole life to make that reference.) Listened to C's latest exploits (NFL players and Tad O'Had). Today, early tea and conversation with A and then brunch with Becks, absolutely wonderful to catch up with her. And as I said, I managed to drive home with not an ill will to be felt. I just felt relaxed. Guess I'm actually getting over myself. And my lousy issues. It was sad to not have the whole group there, but hopefully soon we'll all be together again. Maybe in March for M's recital and KHawk's happy hour and then Me Encanta Sangria. (and maybe Stevie's birthday??) Who knows. 

So that was the long and short of things. For a lonely heart's Valentine's day, it wasn't so bad. Plus before I went up, Christopher came over and brought mom and I some chocolates and flowers and cards. It was really really nice of him. SisterK better keep that one. 

So yes. Not the most thrilling entry ever, but I'm relaxed, so I don't care too much. 

weekend postulations

It seems to me that I often write on weekends. And this is for several reasons I suppose. One being that on weekdays I'm too lazy. I literally go to work, go to the gym, watch tv and eat supper, and then usually crash to bed around 9something (yes I am an old woman). The second I guess would be that if I only do one entry a week, I have more to write, a whole week's buildup of weird or funny or sometimes boring-as-hell mundane bullshit. Frankly, this is really the only way I could do it, because not enough happens to me in one day to be worth writing. I'm pretty boring. 

This week consisted of gym time (and I'm going later today, between 3-4 to hopefully run into my lip pierced hs crush) a stressful work week, and blakeley not talking to me for the past 3 days. He is a tool. But I'm far too stubborn to break the silence. I absolutely refuse. This stems from being Irish and also just having to stand my ground in the family. Damnit, I will NOT give in. Last Saturday I got to see one of my dear TRON kids, Mike, playing viola for Ticket to Ride, a Moving Out sort of Beatles tribute with dance and a loose story line. It was WONDERFUL to see him. And since he won't be available when I go up for Valentine's day, it was good that I got to catch up with him then. Hear some pretty shocking news about other family members, though I've been told I shouldn't be shocked....that this person has been like this all along, and I just didn't get it. Which is true. I'm actually pretty worried. I still have this hope that he (not mike, the other person) will turn it around and stop being some egomaniacal asshole and realize that one- he isn't god and two- people aren't always criticizing him because they are jealous but more because perhaps they are concerned for his seemingly evil mortal soul. I still love him dearly, as I do all my family members, but I just worry. He can't really be that bad of a person, can he? And I know part of my denial is that I don't want to admit that I could have been so completely wrong about a person. Ugh. Oh well. Maybe he'll be better. Or at the very least, stop doing hurtful things to people that he is supposed to be friends with. I can hope. 

I am extremely excited to go for my visit. Planning a yummy dessert treat to bring up, even if we aren't having a dinner/formal thing. I just miss them. And it will be especially perfect if the city kids can all make it. It has been far too long since I've seen their faces. And being that I am friendless back here at home, it will be nice to feel like I have some again. And I'm psyched to see Jamison's show, it promises to be quite good....I'm sure it will be. 

Did some more research on William and Mary, finding out that Jon Stewart went there, as did Glenn Close, very interesting. I can't wait to go down there. I know I'm over thinking, since I haven't really begun the necessary processes to get in, but I really want to move to Virginia like now. Warm(er) weather, Colonial Williamsburg....how could I go wrong. So that is taking up some of my time...thinking about grad school.

Well I guess that is kind of it. Like I said, if I didn't save all the whole week up for one entry, things would just be two liners, like "hey I'm alive. today." So better to save it up and unload one larger entry, right? Of course right.

holy hour glass figure batman

Let us just take a moment and appreciate women from the 50's. Here we have Vera Ellen, star of many films, amazing dancer with incredible legs, and in later life, a fear of showing her neck (due to some irrational idea that her neck skin was gross or something). Look at that figure. Just look. I could starve myself for years, hit the gym every dang day, and I still wouldn't look like that (not withstanding the small fact that I am currently a redhead and not nearly as pretty as her anyway). Not even with that sweet corset. Though I might invest in one anyway. Nothing wrong with a little help sucking in the grossness. And those legs! Ugh. Meanwhile, here I am in some sweatpants and an old lady bathrobe. Contemplating hitting the gym for hours today. Good gravy am I a fatass or what?

In other news, I'm in a bit of a rut/weird dreams time right now. As usual, I'm dissatisfied with life in general. Mostly  sick of living at home with my parents. Mostly mom. Because she is a colossal bitch sometimes. Like last night, just acting like I am retarded about my own dog. I came home last night and she told me that viv hadn't been out in a while. ok. But she wasn't near the door, or whining to go so I said "I'll take her when she has to go". Then later as the dogs were pestering dad for food, she said it again. And then I said "she is completely mooching right now. she doesn't have to go. If she had to go she would let us know" and instead my jerk mother looks at me like I'm dumb, starts muttering under her breath about how I'm torturing my dog, and how she has to be the only sensible person in the house, and all this other crap, and puts her coat on and has to drag viv out the door, since she wasn't interested in going out at the moment, since all she wanted was some pot roast from my dad. So she drags her out, then when she comes back in glares at me and keeps muttering. So, despite the fact that it was 7:30 at night, I went to bed. I put on my headphones, locked my door, and went to sleep. Because I can't deal with her fucking bullshit. And my only options are go away, or go to sleep. So I just went to sleep. She does this all the time. Acting like I'm some sort of moron, or just a lazy slug who does nothing but mooch off of them. I know I'm lame still living at home and not having a real job and not having my own place and plan, but christ, does she really have to make me feel so worthless? 

Other than that, just plain bored. Work sucks. I don't have friends here. I'm counting down the days till my next Purchase visit so I can be around people who are my friends and get me and don't make me feel so lousy. And stupid blakeley was being jerky this week. I kind of think men suck. And usually, I have friends that are guys and its fine. But he can't even be my friend without wigging out about it and being stupid. He is so paranoid. He really thinks that anyone at work gives a crap about us hanging out. NO ONE CARES! EVERYONE IS TOO WRAPPED UP IN THEIR OWN LIVES TO CARE! But he doesn't get it. It seems like a lot of effort for friends. Maybe I'll just give it up altogether. Whatevs. Had a bunch of weird dreams about people from high school. Maybe because of last week's odd Dubliner experience where everyone was there. And the fact that I see Murph at the gym all the time. Maybe I'm secretly longing for some badass guy to sweep me off my feet and give me some lip-pierced MO session. Who knows.

I think I've rambled enough.